Web

Oh what a tangled web we weave, When first we practice to deceive” is a quotation by Sir Walter Scott, which I’m sure you knew. It means that when you tell lies or act in a dishonest way you create problems and complications which you cannot control.

-Shakespeare

When its more ourselves we set to decieve, because sometimes, the truth of a lifetime of nothing special, perhaps the giult from those caught in the crossfire of that tangled web for ourselves is the hardest to overcome.

“I want you to forgive yourself….” a doctor said when I disclosed to her. Easier said than done.

Like thought disordered thinking, at the end of a manic spiral takes time to stop, forgiveness of yourself for those hurt by your own actions, easiwr said than done.

Sometimes with other people, theres no grace.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

God has forgiven me, why cant I forgive myself?
Forgiveness and letting go can lead you down the path of healing and … yourself swallowed up by your own bitterness or sense of injustice.

Not so simple.

Forgiving yourself

We tend to be hardest on ourselves, putting up barriers to self-forgiveness, including the idea that we deserve to feel bad. Getting past old mistakes can take some work, but once we do, it can feel as though a burden has been lifted.

Studies suggest that making amends to the person who was wronged often helps. It gives people permission to forgive themselves, even if they get a cool reception from the person to whom they apologize.

One of the most often-quoted statements on forgiveness sums up how dangerous resentment can be. “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.”

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/forgiveness/art-20047692

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Blessings following a storm

Much of the test after a storm when you’ve been making all, or close to all the right choices after a period of making all the wrong ones, is God is testing you to see if youre going to continue making the right ones.

When I found myself praying for some kind of relief from the pressure of financial insecurities, but the concerns over being able to even get help thats needed, the right kind of help.

Dual diagnosis

CBT

DBT

One on one counseling

That it was difficult to make it happen, means its key to make the most of it.

Being able to do that means making the most of blessings He has sent.

Sometimes when an amends is made, a financial one, it means two things, one is putting your money where your mouth used to be, when you tell someone youre really sorry, saying it once, otherwise it means nothing.

Second, it means to also take the financial blessings where they are, and using that wisely, and not for some s***, different day.

And no matter what, being of service to others.

What you believe

Joel Osteen says: “What you receive is directly connected to what you believe.”
https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.joelosteen.dailyapp

Yes, true that.

And when its coming fast and hard, and life is giving you lemons, especially when youve made all the wrong choices, continuing to make the right ones becomes especially important.

No insurance and for now, not much income.

Continue to be of service to others, part of a solution, not a part of the problem.

Perspective

In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.
Aaron Rose

In spite of the struggles right now, remembering that the brain injury came with a 75% mortality rate, that I am blessed to be alive, but so many have it so much worse, is the thing to remember.

And the more you have to fight to get what you need, the sweeter the reward, and the more it means.

Every cloud has a silver lining.

You just have to find it.